I’m feeling really emotional right now. I can’t believe that this race , this life changing experience is coming to an end sooner than I realize. I don’t want to dwell too much but I do want to express the way I’m feeling right now in hopes it can make my future self or another person reflect on GOD.
I walked into this trip, lost, emotionally distressed, relationally broken, and spiritually unaware. In hopes to escape what my reality had been for most of my life and the faint knowing that there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing, I walked onto the World Race campus with my parents in Georgia, US of A🇺🇸✊🏼 I was scared, hopeful, and shocked. I grasped onto friends too quickly and strived to understand God immediately and all at once. I was eager and I wanted out of my ordinary life. I wanted more.
Quickly, tightly and all at once isn’t healthy I learned pretty soon after those few shorts weeks at the beginning of my race. Knowing God quickly and all at once is something I still constantly need to remind myself isn’t the point, or even achievable after all. Jesus. He wants me forever. That’s the whole point. He wants a relationship that far surpasses an 11 month mission trip. He’s committed forever. It was a matter of time before I realized I wanted the same thing. In fact it’s so funny I’m sitting here right now in a coffee shop having the revelation and desire to commit it all to Him again. I’m staring at the ocean and I know what I have to do. I know what I want to do. I want to commit everything to Him again. Not because I want to escape, or fit it, or pretend but because I love You. Because I want to be in this relationship with You forever. So wow, let’s get in that water and do it all over again. Let’s do it truly and really.
Okay yeah wow, side track but I’m sure that’s actually the whole reason God put it in my heart to start typing something out in the first place. Moral of the story, He has changed my life. I believe the whole point of me coming on this trip was for me to understand and truly commit my life to Him. That is life changing. Permanently and truly. He continues to change my life. Not because He doesn’t love the person I am or wants me to do better but because He loves me. I’m beginning to understand that more truly and freely. I’m starting to genuinely fall back in love with Him. I love because He loved first. I’m so proud to love you Jesus, help me to walk in that truth with power, love and self control. Let your name be glorified.
Okay, I’m gonna go get baptized. Thank you for reading this, I hope you have a deeper understanding of the Fathers love for you today.
In Jesus name, amen ❤️
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